The Mating Ritual of "Clubbing"

We all know that animals have various forms of mating rituals which are unquestioningly accepted by us “higher animals”. And we also know that us higher animals also have various forms of mating rituals which come in a variety of labels. But this was something I “knew” but didn’t really think about. Till I went clubbing a few weekends ago and “observed” the crowd.

The Onyx experience, being a girls’ night out, started off well enough with a round of Margaritas. It was way too crowded to dance and the girls refused to dance seeing as we'd likely get crushed to death in there. And so while we hung about waiting for the crowd to thin a bit I “observed” a lot. Then a couple of weeks later, at H2O, the boyf was meeting a bunch of friends he was seeing in ages and hence wanted to sit, drink and “talk” (meaning shout at each other) and so I was once again on the couch “observing” (and seriously contemplating trading in the boyf for a younger model who actually liked dancing to “talking”..grrr!). Since this was the first time I’d got a chance to watch the crowd rather than being a part of it, thought I should make some good use of it.

There were bunches of girls/ guys dancing and, more often than not, a few from these groups would glance a few times at a member of the opposite sex who was dancing nearby/ standing at the bar/ getting drunk with friends. And when this glancing succeeded in catching the target’s eye, the former would look away fast, but the grinding seemed to be done with much more enthusiasm than before. Then the glancing, trying to catch his/ her eye would resume till at some point, one approached the other (here, for some reason, it was mostly the girls doing the grinding,and guys the approaching). From then on, I can’t say what happened because my attention would move to another similar ritual happening nearby.

What struck me was that so many people seemed to be “meeting” others for the first time and seemingly “hitting it off” although anything that one communicated to the other had to be purely physical since the blare of various rhythms assured that no two people in there could “talk” to each other. And this is what got me thinking. Mostly because I suddenly made the connection between the couple grinding on the floor and single people I know who go clubbing hoping to meet the right girl/ guy.

Some people seemed to go clubbing not just to dance and have fun, as I had thought at first, but also to either pick up or be picked up (not just for the night, I mean) and come away disappointed when neither happens for some reason or full of hope when “something happened”. Since I've bene back, I've met so many single people who go out hoping to “meet the one”…and I suspect this is also why “just a dance”, a fling, a one-night stand will never do for them...for their goal is only for a longer dance, one that lasts a lifetime, it seems. Then is this not a mating ritual of a kind?

And it seems the difference between a person who takes part in this ritual and a person who does not is in the purpose/ intention of going clubbing – those who go out to have good night dancing with friends (old and new) and those who go to pick up/ be picked up with long-term hopes.

In these “modern” times, clubs open up, hire a DJ and dole out alcohol and whatever substances they can get away with making money off. And the music, the substances, seem to help move along this ritual.

For some reason, realizing this made me sad at first. But now that I’ve thought about it, there isn’t anything sad about it at all. It’s just another way I suppose of “meeting someone”…albeit having to have your first conversation shouting at each other…but then again, perhaps this sets the tone for the (hoped for) marriage. There doesn’t seem to be any rational reason for being sad about this for if any of these “matings” that happen on numerous dance floors in numerous clubs go the mile, then is it not indeed a perfectly natural ritual?

Why it seemed sad at first I think is perhaps because it reminded me so much of the peacock and its desperate, lonely dance when it would stand alone amidst dry, brown foliage, nose in the air, yet with tail feathers fanned out behind in all their glory. Proud, magnificent, yet desperately hoping someone would notice, stop by to say hello and dance the peacock dance with him.