Grief
I watched a movie recently of which I didn’t think too much…maybe because the entire plot was pretty obvious within the first 2 minutes of the movie and the rest had to be spent suppressing yawns. However, one short scene got me thinking..
Grief
A widow dances.
The empty arms of his shirt
Wrapped about her
As rains wash away the hurt
She dances; smiling,
His old warmth all-embracing
Most of us have been touched by grief, in one way or another. I always wondered how people can say ‘X’s grief is worse/less than Y’s’ and not know that they lie. One’s grief is not relative for one’s pain is not relative. One hurts as deeply as another – not more, not less.
When pain hits you, and darkness starts closing in, the only way back to light is to dance. In the rain where you don’t know if you’re crying, in an embrace that feels as warm today as it had yesterday. But that light is not real; it only tries to relieve the darkness a little. It comes fast, like a lightening streak out of a stormless sky, for it lights up the darkness and then is gone, leaving us gasping, groping, knowing we need to find a longer, stronger light.
That longer light comes with the realization that the arms are now empty, the warmth has left and the rains that came with duty, with friends, has now ceased for it cannot rain forever. Rain only patters about softly for a little while before you must be left alone to find the sunshine again. This light comes like the sun over the horizon – softly and so, so slowly you wonder if it’ll ever rise, if it’ll ever take over the sky.
And then, when the light has risen, the blue sky seems yellow hued again. Yet, a lined hand, a warm touch, the tilt of a head, a scent from childhood in the breeze, a familiar chant…and the darkness beckons once more. And the temptation to give in is strong, to curl up in the darkness, to wait for those around you to forget you were ever there.
Grief
A widow dances.
The empty arms of his shirt
Wrapped about her
As rains wash away the hurt
She dances; smiling,
His old warmth all-embracing
Most of us have been touched by grief, in one way or another. I always wondered how people can say ‘X’s grief is worse/less than Y’s’ and not know that they lie. One’s grief is not relative for one’s pain is not relative. One hurts as deeply as another – not more, not less.
When pain hits you, and darkness starts closing in, the only way back to light is to dance. In the rain where you don’t know if you’re crying, in an embrace that feels as warm today as it had yesterday. But that light is not real; it only tries to relieve the darkness a little. It comes fast, like a lightening streak out of a stormless sky, for it lights up the darkness and then is gone, leaving us gasping, groping, knowing we need to find a longer, stronger light.
That longer light comes with the realization that the arms are now empty, the warmth has left and the rains that came with duty, with friends, has now ceased for it cannot rain forever. Rain only patters about softly for a little while before you must be left alone to find the sunshine again. This light comes like the sun over the horizon – softly and so, so slowly you wonder if it’ll ever rise, if it’ll ever take over the sky.
And then, when the light has risen, the blue sky seems yellow hued again. Yet, a lined hand, a warm touch, the tilt of a head, a scent from childhood in the breeze, a familiar chant…and the darkness beckons once more. And the temptation to give in is strong, to curl up in the darkness, to wait for those around you to forget you were ever there.
Yet we refuse to give in. Is it because we’re afraid of being judged by the rains that will surely surge around us if we were to give up and give in? Or are we afraid of losing our way, of forgetting the path, we’d struggled so hard to find?
4 comments:
That is very well put. Grief never really dies, because if you lose that grief you forget all the good times and happiness you had, that the loss off which caused you grief in the first place.
And that would be even more painful.
Y'know, I never saw it that way before! I always thought of it as pain building upon pain till we go kind of numb..and fool ourselves into thinking "time healed the pain".. This is a new perspective on things..shall go have a think about that now! :o)
Ahhhh.. i remember this scne.. i found it quite moving.. but someone i was with ended up asking me to slap them if i ever found them doing that.. killed the mood totally.
Heyyy.. good to have u back! :) Yea, that really would kill it! Although I must admit the movie dragged on so much I was pretty much to slap ppl around by the end of it anyway :s
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